Monday, August 18, 2003

WWE RAW Review: 08/18/03

I hated RAW last night. Loathed it, absolutely. I saw a couple things worth airing, and then about one hour and fifty minutes of stuff that was just mind bogglingly stinky, boring and embarrassing. Why the writers feel that the story of "here's two guys who want to win the World Title" is inappropriate in today's world is beyond me. Instead, we're treated to matches that vary wildly in theme, from murder and rape to annoyingly unfunny superhero-based sketches and men painted in gold makeup. Yeah, I'm more interested in seeing Kane vs. RVD at Summerslam, now that I've seen Rob helplessly tied up backstage and Kane's failure to correctly light a match. And not only that... they can't even write boring, inappropriate shit correctly. It's predictable, inconsistent and plotless. But oh, am I getting ahead of myself?

I don't have very long this afternoon, so this is going the be the brief-brief version. If I overlook something, rest assured that I saw it, and I don't really have an opinion on it this evening. I don't have the time or the willingness to really dedicate another couple hours of my life to summarizing and opinionating over a show that didn't really do its job of entertaining me. Call me a pessimistic, habitual troll. I don't care. I still know what's good and what sucks ass, and delivering a show like the one that aired last night with six days left until the second biggest show of the year... pretty much sucks ass.

The whole Jericho / Michaels interaction was one of few things they did right last night, maintaining the momentum they've been running with since last year's Royal Rumble and actually playing off of and EXPANDING UPON the stories involved therein. The Highlight Reel segment was gold, with Jericho learning from his past experiences and bailing on the show about fifteen seconds in. Great comments about HBK costing Chris the title at the last Elimination Chamber, which makes both guys look twice as credible, and a doubly-nice closing segment for the entire show, which almost exactly echoed the lead-in to the original Chamber match. In more than six months, Shawn Michaels still hasn't learned that no matter how many people you've superkicked, Chris Jericho is still waiting behind your back with a steel chair.

The whole Linda McMahon / Eric Bischoff thing just alternated between boring and disgusting me. Well, let me amend that. With one exception, the whole series of segments bored and disgusted me. That exception? Watching Linda surf the web, encounter a pop-up and just PANIC. Yeah, welcome to our world Linda. She's lucky she didn't hit 1wrestling.

The Jericho / Nash match wasn't pretty, though there were a few surprisingly shiny moments hidden away in there. I'm amazed big Kev actually allowed Y2J to strap him into a boston crab, and his facial expressions while reaching for the ropes were commendable. I have a problem with Jericho needing a spear from Bill Goldberg, a low blow, a handful of tights, a distracted ref, a removed turnbuckle pad and some brass knucks to get the pinfall, but in the end the right man wound up on top. That's what we'll remember five years from now, I guess. That and the visual of Jericho smiling like a complete tool, tufts of Nash's hair sitting on top of his own head.

And that's really just about all that I think hasn't been covered before. I don't have anything nice to say about the rest of the show, so I just won't say anything at all. I'm more than a little pissed off about the way World Wrestling Entertainment is constantly shoving their collective heads up their own asses and pretending that everything's peachy keen in their world, when the opposite is so painfully, obviously true. Here's hoping I feel a little more optimistic coming out of Summerslam than I do going in.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is poor and 10 is amazing...
Overall Score: 2

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