Kane, Bubba Ray, Goldust & Booker T & vs. The Un-Americans
Shit, how does Goldust keep getting thrown into these huge, 20-man tag matches full of guys who actually know what they're doing in the ring? Seriously, take a look back at all the 6-or-more man tag matches he's been involved with. You'll be apalled.
So here we are. The UnAmericans are losing more and more steam every week, with the blame lying solely on the booking team for jobbing them in every conceivable fashion every week on RAW. Remember when they jumped from Smackdown? How there was all this hype behind them , how you actually thought the angle would mean something with the lack of talent on Monday nights? How Jericho jumped on the very same night, pretty much simultaneously telling us that YES, he WOULD be ascending to the role of leader of the Canadian stable? Damn, that would've been somethin'. Somethin' about twelve times as interesting, fresh, redeeming and exciting as what we've got.
I guess, at the very least, Bradshaw's not involved. Not that I care that much more about Bubba Ray. I despised Dusty Rhodes when his name meant anything besides poor booking, and I despise seeing the gimmick recycled, but at least the Dudley knows how to sell from time to time.
Alright, so we've got Kane, Booker, Storm, Christian, Regal and potentially Test pounding out the match itself if they want to, and Bubba / Goldust just there to round out the number of participants. There should be a scrap of heat left in the crowd, so this could be watchable. Let's wait and see.
If the UnAmericans job out here, the WWE is crazy as hell. These guys need a win, and they need it in convincing manner.
Winners: The UnAmericans
Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus
WWE WOMEN'S TITLE
About two months ago, the women's division was going strong... and then they just completely cut it out of every broadcast, in favor of "risque, cutting edge entertainment" like the 'tar and feather Terri's skanky ass' match, the 'throw Trish from the entryway into mud' match, and the 'watch now as two women make out' match. I guess, as long as we're pissing all over the blood, sweat and tears of Molly, Jazz and (god bless her for busting her ass and improving) Trish, why not make this one a 'loser makes out with Michael Cole in a hot tub' match?
Trish has been chasing Molly for about three years now, so I guess it's about time for her to grab the title again. I'm counting the days until Jazz comes back and just stiffs the ever-lovin' shit out of her again. Now that's entertainment.
Winner: Trish
Eddy Guerrero vs. Edge
They've done a good job here of keeping the animosity strong on-air, building Edge as a serious singles star and portraying Eddy as the psychotic dickhead he plays so well. They've been active in the ring with one another, Eddy's remained visibly angered by his loss at Summerslam to the "pretty boy", and the match actually does mean something. Damned if Edge's sick blade job on the last Smackdown didn't prove that Eddy's serious about this thing. It didn't look too bad until Guerrero lifted his head to resume the beating, and then it suddenly just poured down his face like a river of crimson glory. Good stuff.
Gory details aside, this was one of the brightest spots of Summerslam, with one exception. The wrong guy went over. Eddy deserved the win last month, and he's downright begging for it this time. I don't care if Chavo has to run in and distract the Canadian, I want to see this end with a frog splash.
Winner: Eddy Guerrero
Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Flair really is a shadow of his former self, which is saying a whole hell of a lot, since his 'former self' was in reality nothing more than a shadow of the Nature Boy during his prime. Which would make the Ric Flar we're seeing ever week on RAW a shadow of a shadow. In other words, he's practically nonexistent. He went from one of the show's biggest draws to one of its biggest jokes, and the sad thing is this isn't the first time he's been treated this way.
I honestly believed last month was a foreshadowing of things to come. Flair and Jericho, two of the best in terms of crowd manipultion and angle maneuvering, could've given us one hell of a show. The elder statesmen could've proved to us all that he has a few great matches still hidden away somewhere, and that he can make us believe a 55 year old man can go toe-to-toe with the best in the world. Unfortunately, things haven't turned out that way. Now Jericho's a paper champion, holding a belt he doesn't need in a division with no competition and Flair's win last month means a whole steaming load of crap.
The match will likely be disappointing, especially coming off Jericho's strong string of matches with RVD, and Flair's shoulders will find themselves pinned to the mat once again. I'd like to see ol' RF take about 6 months off after this, only to return with four fingers raised high. That's about the only thing that can save him now.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
I'm more interested in seeing the follow-through for this one than I am with the match. And, when you look at who's involved with the match, that's saying a helluva lot. It's a foregone conclusion that these two will rock that stadium six ways from.. well.. today. They'll clash, like the two incredible bastards they are, and send fanboys like Dave and I into a frenzy. Count on it.
However, the last time these two met, the aftereffects were just as interesting as the matches. This feud is what established Benoit as a firm fan favorite, launching his short, yet explosive, dive for the top last year. Angle, though, just sort of floated around for a couple months before the whole Invasion thing sort of absorbed him. While it catapulted one guy, it deflated the other. What I'm hoping for this time is something a little more satisfactory. At this point, the WWE can't afford to see either one of these two deflated.
Benoit's my pick for winning the series, and to be taken seriously he has GOT to redeem himself after jobbing in the last hundred PPVs or so. So he'll take it here, as well.
Winner: Chris Benoit
Billy & Chuck vs. Jamal & Rosie
Should be interesting to see how winded these two get after they hit their signature spots. It's nice to see the tag team division meaning something again, even though the champions, in terms of booking, look as lame as they come. The stips are both stupid and unnecessary, as this one would've had heat off the charts without it, but who am I to complain? I mean, these bookers know what they're doing, right? I should be happy that they're even bothering...
I couldn't agree more with Dave about Stephanie over the last few weeks. Why does she feel that we've forgotten about how much we despised her screechy ass, just a couple months back? She's certainly not a face, even though she's convinced herself she is.
I'm not sure where they can go with this one after the match, since Rosie and Jamal are faces just because of the tough way they've been presented over the last month, but it should be entertaining to watch.
Winners: Rosie & Jamal
Rob Van Dam vs. Triple H
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
I don't care about this match. Today's Triple H isn't even comparable to the Triple H of two years ago, and RVD's character bores me. This whole sack of shit about two World Titles didn't wok the first time we tried it, and that time there was some sort of validity to the claims of both champions. I want to see one World Champion, I want to see him on both shows, and I want to see Triple H doing something else.
RVD should win this one, then immediately job to Brock Lesnar the next week. That said, Triple H will probably dominate from start to finish, suddenly take a frog splash, stand right back up and lock in a sleeper while RVD is rolling around on the ground, selling the effects of his own offensive maneuver. I really, really hate this storyline.
Winner: Triple H
Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
Read my comments about Ric Flair above. Now apply them to the Undertaker. You get an "A".
I don't like the Undertaker, and still maintain that by jumping to Smackdown and winning the #1 contender's match, he stole a spot that had Booker T's name written all over it. The man had his "last ride" at the top, and it ended two f'ing months ago. You don't deserve another title shot. You don't deserve anything more than a role putting over new stars, and occasionally trying out for the Intercontinental title. You don't pass go. You don't collect any money.
There's no reason to get excited about this one in the ring, because I can pretty much imagine what it's going to look like right now. The moment JR says the word "methodical", in any context, just shut your TV off because these two have blown whatever wad they've built up. Lesnar needs to win in convincing fashion.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
IN CLOSING...
I hate to be so dark and depressing, but I have little or no excitement built towards tonight's event, to the point that just writing this preview was a sad and difficult experience. Words cannot describe how let down I feel, after last month's bonanza of hope and goodness. I'm bored. Time to take this one home.
until next time, i remain
drq
drq
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