The World's Greatest WWF Royal Rumble 2000 Preview

It's me, it's me, it's the drq that fights like a she. Don't knock it 'till you've tried it.. Stephanie McMahon wiped the floor with me in Wrestlemania 2000 last night. At any rate, here comes the WWF's big show, pulling it's drunken corpse back into NYC for one of their big 5 PPVs. The unpredictability of the Rumble was always a unique attraction to me in it's youth, and the past few years have seen the event drawn further and further away from the Rumble itself, which was responsible for the different feel of the event. This year seems to be no exception, as the intervals between men have been cut down to a mere minute, resulting in a much shorter event. There's plenty elsewhere on the card, as Cactus Jack makes a run at the title and the Hardys meet the Dudleys, but I'd think there's just too much to take in here. With the rumors already flying around Benoit and company, though (one rumor has them disrupting the rumble itself), the possibilities and expectations could be quite high with this Sunday night.

Kurt Angle vs. an unnamed opponent

And let the speculation begin. Names ranging from Tazz to Jake Roberts have been thrown in here. One site's reporting an early return here for Ken Shamrock, another goes so far as to say one of the WCW escapees will show. I'm going for the more realistic (though somewhat lamer) choice of the British Bulldog, possibly in a 3-way with Blackman thrown in as well. If he weren't involved in the main event, I'd wonder about HHH, which is where this feud will inevitably head. Angle's made a surprisingly good transition from amateur wrestling, and is really quite good on a mic, to boot. If this is a 3-way, he doesn't give or take the pin.. but if it's a simple one on one, he's over clean.
Winner: Kurt Angle

Hardys vs. Dudley Boyz
Tag Team Table Match

Here's something you don't see every day; a feud that's both well worked and written, and hasn't found trouble getting over with the fans. The Hardys are finally monster faces (which is enough to give me hope for Benoit), and the Dudleys took the big step they needed to finally be considered contenders in the big leagues this past week. I'm not positive what the gimmick entails, but seeing as how it's the second 'first ever' match on this card, surely some previously-untouched line will be crossed. All 4 of these guys are nearly fearless in the ring, and I'm looking for some almost life-threatening bumps here. The Dudleys need the win a lot more than the Hardys right now, and I see them going over with a possible rematch later down the line.
Winners: The Dudley Boyz

Terri vs. The Kat vs. Luna vs. B.B. vs. Ivory vs. Jackie vs. Mae Young
Miss Royal Rumble Swimsuit Competition

Is this a match? Eghhh. Of course, you realize the WWF plans to cash in big on this one.. the puberty buys will come pouring in, hoping to see Miss Kitty's fun bags, and Vince will be laughing all the way to the bank. Good news, kids! When you turn 18 a whole new world opens up behind that little door in the video store! It's called porn, and the storylines are a lot more entertaining.. not to mention cheaper. As a vague prediction here, we'll see altogether too much of Mae Young, Ivory will be attacked and stripped yet again, and plenty of teased naked bits.
Winner: if the crowd votes on it, The Kat.. if it's planned, Mae Young

The Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws
Tag Team Title Match

Despite their recent push, I still don't consider the Acolytes a worthwhile team, let alone one that should be receiving shots at the tag team gold. Then again, I'd much rather see the straps around their waist than around the current champions, the New Age Outlaws. These two have managed to hang onto the straps throughout an apparent resurgence of talent in their division; a resurgence that's apparently dying back down now. HHH will have his fun with the stipulations for this match, but the Acolytes have been punked one time too often of late. Then again, maybe both will end up with concussions, and the Taka/Funaki team can grab the gold in their stead. Hey, it worked in WCW.. for a night.
Winners: The Acolytes

Chyna vs. Chris Jericho vs. Hardcore Holly
Intercontinental Title Match

Plain and simple, Chyna and Jericho bicker too much for either to come out of this one as champ. Bob Holly has paid his dues (multiple times, thanks to that terrible 'spark plug' gimmick), and he deserves this title more than either of his opponents and I think he'll be the one with the gold after this one, at least for one night. With rumors of Jericho's main event push coming sooner rather than later, we could get a hint of the future right here. Add to that a second competent and solid ringman in there with the Lionheart, and we could have a very decent 3 way in the works here.
Winner: Hardcore Holly

Triple H vs. Cactus Jack
Street Fight: WWF Heavyweight Title Match

I'm going with HHH here, with a rematch coming at the next PPV. Since his return, Cactus has been pure gold on the stick but his ringwork is showing definate signs of aging. Foley and Helmsley have had a worthwhile feud in the past (which culminated in the birth of Dude Love), and then Mankind managed to drag a good match or two out of the current champ. Unless he completely throws his body to the wolves here, the crowd will go away a bit disappointed. Seeing as how a rematch is inevitable with the winner heading into Wrestlemania, I don't see Cactus spilling everything out here.
Winner: Triple H

30 Man Royal Rumble Match

If you don't think the Rock will be among the final two, you're kidding yourself. He'll likely end up in the middle of the ring with the Big Show, and I'd look for a little controversy leading further into the feud those two have going now. They've hyped the Rock too strongly of late to just eliminate him for surprise's sake.
Winner: The Rock

In Closing...

This week's been a better one than the last, as I found a clip of the new Cure single on the net. It's a departure from their last album but a real return to form for the boys. Things are settling down a bit for the semester, and I'm getting a chance to enjoy some quality wrestling from my expanding tape library. With that said, there's some potential for this one. A lot of questions will be answered along the way, as returns and debuts from the Undertaker and Tazz (as well as the longshot, Ken Shamrock) are certainly possibilities. I'd expect an action packed Raw directly following to hold those appearances, however. Though I complained earlier about the length of this card, the WWF has managed to do quite a good job of building each match, allowing just enough time to get the interest pumping. Meanwhile, John and I hit the reset button on our little competition for the third and final time.. here's hoping this one's the charm.

until next time, i remain
drq